White Lilies and Whispered Lullabies Lemons Soon
by Mahjinx
Summary: I loved the feeling of having her in my arms I feel as thought I have a chance of saving her… I wanted to give her all of me but I couldn't risk her life I couldn't risk her leaving me even in death I would not be able to follow her where she was going.
1. Chapter 1

Night after night I sat there listening carefully to every sound coming from the sleeping angel's mouth

_**I own nothing its all to do with Stephenie**_

Night after night I sat there listening carefully to every sound coming from the sleeping angel's mouth. Every whisper, every breath, every groan. Her steady even breathing was calm and to me was the metronome of life, just as her heartbeat provided me a steady repeating rhythm. I looked at the girl lying peacefully sleeping in the bed across from my chair. Her long brown hair and pale skin looked beautiful in the moonlight, her soft pink lips and long black lashes made her simply stunning. No matter how many times she called her self plain she was definitely not, no one could deny it my Bella was truly Bella.

I stared in awe at the angel sleeping in this room and thought over our whole time together. That first day in biology, the day Tyler's van almost killed her, That first amazing day in the meadow where we shared our first kiss, the night we spent in the tent camping with the mutt Jacob Black there was just so much even after all this time I couldn't believe she had chosen me but I was just so in love with her. This was My Bella, my angel my savior, _my life, _without her life didn't matter…nothing did.

I loved the feeling of having her in my arms I feel as thought I have a chance of saving her from what I thought was inevitable what Alice had seen thoughts many month ago was truly a blessing not a curse my Bella was sent to save me not destroy me I wanted to give her all of me but I couldn't risk her life I couldn't risk her leaving me even in death I would not be able to follow her where she was going. getting up from Bella's childhood rocking chair and moving over towards the bed I brushed a piece of stray hair away from her face at my touch she whispered softly "Edward" I froze on the spot not from shock or fear but simply so I could enjoy the sound. I loved the way she said my name it was like thousands of angles voices signing out in rejoice I leaned in and took in her heavenly scent...almost floral... I'd never smelt anything like her and I knew I never would because she is my love, my one and only...I could, even if I wanted to, forget my love for her.

**Mk so Zoë had to go offline this was just something we scribbled down so uh we will see how this goes as for the delay on the lemon I will NEVER EVER trust Zoë's computer and USB again she had it all ready to go but then her USB or comp chucked a hissy and deleted EVERYTHING. I have a new poem which I should be adding very soon. Nat **


	2. Chapter 2

It killed me a little inside every time she talked about

It killed me a little inside every time she talked about...me changing her...how could _I_ do that to my love? It hurt so much to think that _I_ was going to be the one to end my sweet angels' life. That she wanted _me_ to be the cause of her death, and even though if all went to plan I _would_ be the source of eternal life to her, all I really was doing was damning her for eternity. A life of eternal damnation that was what my life was or at least until I found my Bella.

But now I couldn't live without her?...how could I do this send her into eternal damnation?... how could I let her human life slip away?...I knew it would happen though, Alice had seen it...and you never bet against Alice.

How could I send my angel to a living hell? To hell itself on earth? How could I take away her soul?... I lay there next to her for a long time thinking, just listening to her heart beat cherishing its every beat and counting them knowing they were numbered.

As much as I loved her and couldn't live without her I wanted to save her but what if the only way to save her was to change her? What would I do then? Would I be as strong as Carlisle? Would I be able to do it? Just as I was begging to doubt myself my Bella uttered my name, once again reminding me that no matter what, I would save her. Even if I had to die doing it.

But I refused to hurt her! I wouldn't hurt her! _I couldn't, _No! I couldn't think about it anymore, my head was going to explode. The sun began to rise and my sweet angel began to wake up I instantly wrapped my arms around her and nestled my face into her neck inhaling her scent deeply. After all, this was exactly where I wanted to be for the rest of my life, with Bella. Preferably with her living. But as Alice would say and we all know some things just don't go to plan.


	3. The Whole Thing

**So Uh This is just the whole thing together it just looks alot better xD**

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Night after night I sat there listening carefully to every sound coming from the sleeping angel's mouth

Night after night I sat there listening carefully to every sound coming from the sleeping angel's mouth. Every whisper, every breath, every groan. Her steady even breathing was calm and to me was the metronome of life, just as her heartbeat provided me a steady repeating rhythm. I looked at the girl lying peacefully sleeping in the bed across from my chair. Her long brown hair and pale skin looked beautiful in the moonlight, her soft pink lips and long black lashes made her simply stunning. No matter how many times she called her self plain she was definitely not, no one could deny it my Bella was truly Bella.

I stared in awe at the angel sleeping in this room and thought over our whole time together. That first day in biology, the day Tyler's van almost killed her, that first amazing day in the meadow where we shared our first kiss, the night we spent in the tent camping with the mutt Jacob Black. There was just so much, even after all this time I couldn't believe she had chosen me, but I was just so in love with her. This was My Bella, my angel my savior, _my life, _without her life didn't matter…nothing did.

I loved the feeling of having her in my arms, I felt as though I had a chance of saving her from what I thought was inevitable. What Alice had seen so many months ago was truly a blessing, not a curse. My Bella was sent to save me, not destroy me. I wanted to give her all of me but I couldn't risk her life I couldn't risk her leaving me even in death I would not be able to follow her where she was going. Getting up from Bella's childhood rocking chair and moving over towards the bed I brushed a piece of stray hair away from her face at my touch she whispered softly "Edward" I froze on the spot not from shock or fear but simply so I could enjoy the sound. I loved the way she said my name it was like thousands of angles voices signing out in rejoice I leaned in and took in her heavenly scent...almost floral... I'd never smelt anything like her and I knew I never would because she is my love, my one and only...I could, even if I wanted to, forget my love for her I couldn't

It killed me a little inside every time she talked about...me changing her...how could _I_ do that to my love? It hurt so much to think that _I_ was going to be the one to end my sweet angels' life. That she wanted _me_ to be the cause of her death, and even though if all went to plan I _would_ be the source of eternal life to her, all I really was doing was damning her for eternity. A life of eternal damnation that was what my life was or at least until I found my Bella.

But now I couldn't live without her...how could I do this? send her into eternal damnation?... how could I let her human life slip away?...I knew it would happen though, Alice had seen it...and you never bet against Alice.

How could I send my angel to a living hell? To hell itself on earth? How could I take away her soul?... I lay there next to her for a long time thinking, just listening to her heart beat cherishing its every beat and counting them knowing they were numbered.

As much as I loved her and couldn't live without her I wanted to save her but what if the only way to save her was to change her? What would I do then? Would I be as strong as Carlisle? Would I be able to do it? Just as I was begging to doubt myself my Bella uttered my name, once again reminding me that no matter what, I would save her. Even if I had to die doing it.

But I refused to hurt her! I wouldn't hurt her! _I couldn't, _No! I couldn't think about it anymore, my head was going to explode. The sun began to rise and my sweet angel began to wake up I instantly wrapped my arms around her and nestled my face into her neck inhaling her scent deeply. After all, this was exactly where I wanted to be for the rest of my life, with Bella. Preferably with her living. But as Alice would say some things just don't go to plan.

I parted with my angel for the first time, she had English, I had physics the only two subjects we didn't have together... I missed her already the way her hair bobbed as she walked the way she smelled and the way she twined her fingers with mine. the 50 min lesson of physics was the longest lesson of my life. all I did was long for the touch of my Bella her lips against mine her scent her heartbeat I searched the minds of Angela Webber and Jessica Stanley to find out what my Bella was doing Bella was fazing out just as much as I was Jessica Stanley was thinking about the fact that my Bella was apparently always away with the fairies I laughed to myself fairies wasn't right more like vampires but it was nice to know that I wasn't the ony one, the couldn't concentrate.

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**Reviews really help us there will be lemons**


	4. Choices, Fears, Anew

The rest of the lesson was uneventful

Nat: Okay so this is just me writing Zoe didn't have a hand in this she is to busy with homework I apologise for im sure the numerous mistakes I have had a heap of Betta responses im just taking my time sorry I don't mean too. Anyway Review us Mail us Subscribe Ect and PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT US. Oh yea I think I have a fair bit of OOCness in the Cullen's so if anyone picks that up can you tell me anyway I don't know when I will next update but it should be soonish oh and you asked for longer chapters here they are. Btw **Im Not Stephenie Meyer she is way past my league and none of these characters belong to me **_**Although I would love to own Emmett! :D **_

ONE MORE THING DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT VAMPIRE ACADEMY FAN FICTION IF YOU KNOW OF SOME OR WRITE SOME TELL ME PLEASE I WANT IT

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The rest of the lesson was uneventful. I stopped thinking about Bella and started concentrating on my work and what the teacher was saying, it wasn't anything I hadn't heard before just all the same mindless dribble that they taught all over the country. The bell rang and I sprung out of my seat and ran like a bolt of lightning to stand outside Bella's creative writing classroom. The class was for English extension students and although I was part of the extension class I did not choose to take the creative writing elective it just wasn't my thing, Bella on the other hand seemed to love it.

Bella was the last out of the classroom when Bella saw me leaning against the lockers on the other side of the hall she smiled and began to move towards me with a huge stack of novels and textbooks in her arms. I grabbed the textbooks from her arms and greeted her.

"Good lesson love?"

"It wasn't bad, I got a lot of homework on taboo and banned books but it's not anything I can't handle." She replied

"Is that why you have so many books with you?" I asked looking at the pile of books that now lay in my arms.

"Yea I have to read them and analyse the content to determine why I think they are either taboo or banned"

I looked at the spines of all the books that I had in my arms that were from Bella's creative writing class. There were all the usuals as well as a few unusual ones such as _Tom Sawyer _and _Go Ask Alice_. Of course Bram Stokers _Dracula _was in the pile but it wasn't banned as far as I knew, I would have to ask Bella about that. Bella was still talking about the assignment, I hadn't tuned out I was just more curious about a few of the books sitting on the top of the pile. My curiosity was gone though as Bella began to talk about how the assignment also called for them to read something from the most challenged book list from either this year or last year. Bella had chosen Shakespeare's _The Merchant of Venice _she had to argue why the book should either stay un-banned or be banned.

I smiled and said "Looks like you have your hands full"

Bella laughed and said "Actually my hands are pretty free; I believe it is your hands that are full"

I agreed with her and we moved on into the cafeteria to take our seats with Angela, Ben, Erick, Tyler, Jessica, Lauren, Mike and my sister Alice. I sat down and didn't really pay attention to the current conversation Bella was talking to Angela so I began thinking about last night and what had been going through my head, it seemed like all the dark fears that plagued me during the night when my angel slept were chased away by Bella whenever she was awake.

The bell rang signalling the end of the school day Bella and I drove to her house and hung out just lounging around, doing homework and reading. Bella began to read Bram Stokers _Dracula_ and I picked up a copy of _A Midsummer Nights Dream_ but eventually put it down and started reading _The Merchant of Venice_. We sat in silence for a long time just quietly reading, I read at a normal human pace occasionally glancing up to take a look at Bella who was concentrating very hard and who would occasionally sneak a peak at me with a look of puzzlement on her face. I think she was using me as a model of Dracula. The rest of the afternoon went much like that. Around five-thirty I snuck out so that Bella could make dinner for Charlie and try and keep him in a good mood. I would have to wait till around nine or ten to sneak into Bella's room, but that was okay it gave me a chance to go get some stuff from my house and maybe have a talk to the family.

I hopped into my shiny silver Volvo and made my way home. I was greeted by Emmett and Jasper play fighting out on the front lawn; I wondered what had brought on this fight. Had Emmett lost to Jasper at Medal of Honour again? It didn't really matter. I hopped out of my car and onto the grass of the front lawn I watched as the two of them wrestled each other and laughed when Jasper hung Emmett by his shirt on one of the trees in the front yard. Emmett was squirming and making a huge fuss using a number of colourful words aimed at Jasper.

Rosalie came out of the house and took one look at the situation and went straight to the tree to help Emmett down but she was held back by Alice who had a knowing look in her eye that there was a lesson to be learned here. Emmett continued to squirm in the tree and shout profanities at Jasper and pleas to myself Alice and Rosalie to get him down.

I had to admit it was quite funny to see Emmett in this situation. But it also made me think about what my Bella would do if she were here. Bella would have a part in a lot of family pranks after she was changed and it was this side of life the one with my family that made me not mind changing Bella because I knew she would be happy with me and my family that she would have fun and live but I wanted to save her so badly…

A few minutes later Emmett was let down from the tree after promising never again to mess around with Jaspers history books from the civil war. Apart from hanging from a tree for an hour Emmett got a severe warning from Esme, there was also quite a bit of shouting from Rosalie to Emmett.

After all the chaos was over I went up to my room and lay down on my bed just listening to everything but listening was never the same without the steady rhythm of Bella's heartbeat and her breathing. I gathered up all I would need for the night at Bella's and began to really concentrate on my homework after all it was the only thing I could do in these hours when we were apart that would keep me sane. My homework was done and finished in under an hour even at human speed it was done that quick as I was packing up my books and putting them in my bag I heard Alice knock on my door.

"Come in Alice" I said politely

The girl with short brown spiky hair who was no taller than four feet and looked like a pixie with pale white skin and golden eyes entered my room and sat down on the enormous bed I had purchased for Bella when she slept over.

"You are off to Bella's for the night aren't you?" she asked

"Yes Alice just like every other night, why? Have you seen something?" I asked curiously

"No I haven't seen anything of consequence but I just wanted to talk to you Edward. I am worried about you. I see your indecision in changing Bella, your fears. Edward I think you need to know that either way whether or not you bite Bella she is going to become a vampire." Alice paused for a second to gauge my reaction to all of this.

"You have to accept that and I know you think by keeping her human you are saving her but Edward if you were to keep her human she wouldn't live a full life. Sure it would be happy and all but it wouldn't be the life you want for her even with you in it. Bella's best option is to become a vampire and live forever with you she loves you like nothing else, Edward you don't need to be afraid when you turn Bella your not killing her Your saving her from Death no matter what."

In a way Alice was completely right but no matter what she said I was still scared sure I wanted to save Bella but that no longer meant that by keeping her human I was saving her I saw that the best thing to do was to change Bella. After all we would have so much trouble hiding her from the volturi if she were to be kept human so if I were to bite Bella I would be saving her just not in the way I wanted to at first.

I thanked Alice and she left my room I went downstairs with my back pack on my back and ran to Bella's. I ran all the way There with a huge smile on my face after all my angel was waiting and I now knew that eternity no longer looked so bad but I wasn't ready to tell Bella that I had been hesitating she didn't need to know that yet. I spent all of the night at Bella's holding her in my arms no longer feeling down about the limited number of heart beats she had but excited in a way but still scared. It wasn't that I was excited or going to rush into changing Bella it was that I knew that for once I would make her completely happy that both of us would no longer have to hold back I would be able to give Bella all of myself in both the senses of the phrase.

That night I heard Bella talk a lot about forever she even said I Do the two illusive words that I had been trying to get from her lips for months I wanted Bella to marry me but she didn't like the idea of marriage straight out of high school. Bella had her demands too, she demanded that I give her all of myself in the physical sense I claimed it wasn't much different to my request but I just wanted all of her spiritually and so that if she did not fulfil my demand I would not fulfil hers. The rest of the night was peaceful Bella talked little after the I Do incident but my heart was still jumping her subconscious might be saying I Do. The thought of that made me practically burst with excitement.

I would have to ask Bella about that in the morning until then I softly whispered her Lullaby into her ear she rolled over and snuggled into my chest grabbing hold on my shirt as if it were some sort of blanket I adjusted myself to suit her sleeping position and wrapped my arms around her again. Cuddling her to myself this night marked an end but more than anything it marked the Start of a new world for both of us and all who knew us.


End file.
